Writing executive summaries

An executive summary gives you the guts of a document and makes you want to read the rest of the document to find out the detail. It is not an introduction so should not include much background information. Background can be referred to, but not covered in detail.

Writing an effective executive summary is a synthesising, rather than a writing, skill. Most people write the executive summary at the end when they have finished writing their document, some writers compile it as they are writing, and a few write it at the beginning to clarify their thinking.

If you write your executive summary first, you must refine it at the end to make sure your document flows and in case your thinking has changed slightly during the writing process.

One way of writing or rewriting an executive summary is to read through the document again and underline or highlight key words and phrases. There is nothing wrong with copying and pasting words into the executive summary for a first draft, but you must then paraphrase the copy.

Once you have finished writing and before the paper goes up the management chain, you should ask a subject-matter expert and someone who knows nothing about the topic to read your summary.

Having someone who knows nothing about the topic read a document is helpful because we have the ‘curse of knowledge’ about topics we are familiar with. For instance, a board paper I read recently asked the board to support a voluntary program, but did not describe the program, making the assumption that all directors would have heard of it.

Jargon is always an interesting question. All organisational guidelines I have ever read say ‘don’t use jargon’, but I seldom read reports with no jargon. Having acknowledged that, jargon should still be kept to a minimum in an executive summary and acronyms spelt out with the abbreviation in brackets – Australian Taxation Office (ATO).

Many reports are written in the third person, which automatically makes them more formal than other types of writing. The challenge is to find the right balance. Most writers find this tone intuitively, but some make the mistake of thinking that big words and abstract terms make them sound more intelligent. The reverse is true; all readers respect concise, direct language.

Writing tips

• Write one sentence stating the main message you wish to convey.
• Read through your paper and highlight all the key words and phrases.
• Group your ideas in logical order from the readers’ point of view.
• Summarise any material you have copied and pasted.
• Write in plain English — even for technical papers.
• Delete any superfluous information.
• Put yourself in the readers' shoes to see if the executive summary anticipates and answers the readers' questions.

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Reviewing and editing

Before you start editing someone’s writing, you need to be clear about the brief. The four types or stages of editing are:

• Reviewing
• Structural editing
• Copyediting
• Proofreading

If your brief is to proofread a document, you may check accuracy with the writer, but your focus will be on the little things, such as grammatical errors and typos, that detract from the document.

When you’re reviewing a document, you overlook the little things to make sure the document is logical and leaves no questions unanswered.

Your brief may be to do all types of edits for the same document in which case, you must start at the top with the review.

Reviewing

When you review a document, you need to place yourself in your readers' shoes and ask yourself if the report works:

• Will the readers be informed?
• Will the readers be able to make an informed decision?

Structural editing
With a structural edit, you need to find the bones of the report to see if the structure is appropriate. Often with this type of edit, you will cut and paste sections to change the order of the information.

Sometimes this edit will reveal gaps you need to consult the writer about. You need to take care with a structural edit that you do not change meaning.

Copyediting

When you are copyediting, your task is to improve the language and tone of a document and make sure it reads well. The paragraphs and sentences need to be clear and concise and the language appropriate.

Proofreading

Although you may have picked up some errors while copyediting, proofreading is a separate stage. If you have made comprehensive changes to the document, put it aside before proofreading it.

When proofreading, look for:

• Accuracy – correct referencing, typos etc.
• Styles – has the writer used the styles outlined in their style guide?
• Consistency at every level – headings, spacing, styles etc.
• Layout – does the report look visually attractive?

Although we seldom achieve perfect copy, a thorough edit improves clarity and readability. 

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Does creativity pay when it comes to complaining?

Complaining by letter or email is not the only way of making your voice heard these days.

Some creative people have launched their complaints through websites, YouTube, Twitter and discussion groups. A few creative examples that went viral are: ·

• Adam Brimo was tired of waiting on hold for Vodafone customer service so he set up a website, http://www.vodafail.com. He used Facebook, Twitter and an internet technology discussion group to alert other Vodafone users. He and his followers were not alone in complaining about Vodafone at the time, but his site had an impact and I understand Vodafone is working to improve its service. (I am not a Vodafone user so can’t state that categorically.) ·

• When an airline refused to compensate musician Dave Carroll for bag handlers breaking his guitar, Dave posted a song on YouTube. The airline eventually offered some compensation, which Dave refused. He didn’t lose out though – the guitar company gave him two new guitars and his music career got a boost. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo&noredirect=1

• Have you heard about a woman called Keara O'Neill who was abused by a retail assistant in trendy Chapel Street, Melbourne? An email from the company's area manager in response to her complaint went viral, impacting so badly on the brand that the company closed its Facebook page. Read an article in the Herald Sun that attracted 412 comments at http://bit.ly/nLI52s 

Well-crafted complaints can have an impact and a bad response from a company can affect a brand.

Have you used any creative methods to complain that have achieved results?

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Writing letters of complaint

Letters of complaint are the ones that I often compose in my head and seldom send.

I am sure you all know those moments when you’re overcome with irritation with your telecommunications provider or whoever it is who has let you down.

Usually, the irritation passes and we move on. But occasionally, we do need to write or submit a complaint online when we want to: 

• Have the problem fixed
• Receive compensation
• Prevent other people sharing our experience 

Sometimes I think a letter is better than submitting a complaint online because you take the time to crystallise your thoughts and get to the point. When you’re angry or upset, it’s easy to write a ‘who did what, when’ type of complaint that rambles until you reach your word limit.

Once I submitted such a poorly written complaint online that the response I got was: Before we can proceed with your complaint, we need your customer number... (I wasn’t a customer, just a complainer!)  If I’d been writing a letter, I would have summarised the ‘who did what, when’ background into a sentence or two, or if I thought it was all relevant, I might have put it in table form or as an attachment.

If you’re the sort of person who, like me, writes letters in your head but rarely sends them, you might find this website useful: http://www.complaintline.com.au/index.html The site even has a template letter to get you started.

And there is a website where you vent your complaints and if they are not resolved, your vents are made public: http://www.uvent.com.au

When my children were little, I wrote a children's story around letter writing, which you can listen to on YouTube.

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Misuse of bullet points

Bullet points are useful for lists, but I have three gripes about the way they are misused.

First gripe
They are often used when a paragraph would be more effective. Take this following example from a hospital information sheet:

After surgery:

• sit on the side of the bed initially
• transfer to the bedside chair
• walk to the bathroom
• walk freely around the ward
• progress should be gradual, no exertion.

The main idea here is that the patient should move gently at first, but it's buried at the end of the list. And isn't 'transfer' an odd word choice?

Second gripe
Another common mistake is long bulleted lists with no introductory paragraph. This causes two problems — you don't know what's most important and as the information isn't grouped, you have to mentally sort it as you read. You can easily overlook key information in such lists.

An example from the same hospital information sheet dumps sport, sex and bathing in the same list.

Following surgery:

• Short baths can be taken (10–15 minutes).
• Showers may be taken as soon as you are able to walk around.
• Wounds may get wet but should be dried thoroughly. Use a hairdryer if necessary and leave Steristrips on wounds for 5 days.
• Sport: start gradually and build up (walking, swimming, jogging), no exertion, avoid high-impact exercises for 6 weeks (3 months for pelvic floor surgery) and stop if it hurts.
• Sexual intercourse can resume after 4–6 weeks.
• After major surgery avoid heavy lifting for 3 months (i.e. no more than 10kg/2 telephone books).
• Avoid standing for long periods.
• Recommence driving when pain medication is no longer required (check with your insurance company regarding cover following surgery).
• Recovery from major surgery is dependant [sic] on the individual and may take from 4 weeks to several months.

Third gripe
My third gripe is inconsistency of style. When all bullet points relate back to the same stem statement, you should be able to read them as if they were separate statements.

Look at the structure of the above list and you can see that several of the bullet points do not relate to the stem statement (Following surgery recovery from major surgery is dependant on the individual ... ).

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Storytelling in your marketing

We all love a good story, so how can we use stories in our marketing material? It’s easier to tell stories when face-to-face with a prospect, but we can also use some storytelling concepts in our written marketing material.

How to use a storytelling structure
A storytelling structure is easy to follow as we are all familiar with how stories work. Ros Jay, author of How to Write Proposals and Reports that get Results says writing using a storytelling structure has four components: position, problem, possibilities and proposal.

Take Hansel and Gretel, for instance.

Position
Hansel and Gretel were left in the woods by their parents (woodcutter and stepmother), who couldn’t afford to look after them any longer.

Problem
They found a house made of gingerbread, but unfortunately it belonged to a wicked witch who imprisoned them.

Possibilities
They could try to escape or they could trick the witch. Otherwise they would be cooked and eaten by her.

Proposal
In the end the best option was to trick the witch by pushing her into her own oven so she burnt to death. Then Hansel and Gretel escaped and ran home.

Using this structure, if are writing a brochure or proposal, you first set the scene and make your potential clients feel you understand their situation. Often this means stating what both you and the reader already know, but you are establishing common ground.

Once you have demonstrated you understand their situation, you can discuss their problems (you would probably choose a word other than ‘problem’) and how you can help. You may not write about possibilities, but considering your client’s options helps you state the benefits, rather than just the features, of your products or services.

In my view, this structure doesn’t work as well with web copy where your writing has to be more direct. You don’t have time in web writing to do much scene setting. The exception is the US style of long-copy marketing pages (e.g. www.mequoda.com/free-reports/master-landing-page-templates).

Telling stories in your case studies
Case studies allow you to demonstrate how your products and services work in practice or how other clients have benefitted from them. In other words, they are stories, and are powerful on the web as well as in your print material.

In a blog posting, Seth Godin, author of Purple Cow and All Marketers are Liars, itemises some of the ingredients of great stories that you can use to make your case studies powerful.

• Great stories are true and trusted.
• Great stories make a promise. They promise fun, safety or a shortcut.
• Great stories are subtle. The fewer details a marketer spells out, the more powerful the story.
• Great stories happen fast.
• Great stories appeal to our senses.
• Great stories are rarely aimed at everyone. The most effective stories match the world view of a tiny audience that spreads the story.

You can read the full blog post on Seth Godin's website. http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2006/04/ode_how_to_tell.html

This article first appeared on Flying Solo's website: http://www.flyingsolo.com.au

Find out about Mary's writing courses online at www.onlinewritingtraining.com.au

Writing to change behaviour

Communicators have a large role to play in changing our behaviour. For example, we would not be nearly as aware of the dangers of sunbathing or speeding without regular campaigns. Issues such as climate change and obesity have become difficult ones to tackle. How can you write in such a way as to make people want to change their behaviour, particularly if there is a financial cost to changing?

A website worth looking at is http://www.cbsm.com

Dr Doug McKenzie-Mohr is a pioneer in community-based social marketing and his work draws on social psychology at the community level.

On his website, you can download his free e-book, browse a number of case studies and read articles on how to target specific behavioural changes (e.g. encouraging people to install low-flow shower heads). Each article looks at:

• why the behavioural change is important (e.g. low-flow shower heads reduce water consumption, enhance energy efficiency and lower CO2 emissions)
• what is known about the perceived barriers to change
• the most effective programs to date that foster the behavioural change.

The colleague, who told me about this website, attended a workshop where Dr McKenzie-Mohr told the following anecdote. Forest vegetation in a park was being damaged by people wandering off the pathway. Signs asking people to stay off the vegetation made no difference. Research identified that people were trampling the vegetation to take photos, so the sign was replaced with a new one stating that the best place to take photos in the park was a short way ahead. Problem solved.

If only all change were so easy!

You can download Dr McKenzie-Mohr’s free book at http://www.cbsm.com/public/images/FosteringSustainableBehavior.pdf